Thursday, January 20, 2011

A sad time

I have not blogged in a while and it's hard even getting back in the groove of it but i am definitley going to try more. There has just been so much going on in my life lately it's been hard to get a minute to sit at the computer and blog and write down all the thoughts and things going on in my life. So i will do a quick summary and update and try to make more blogs explaining feeling and other houghts and things going on with me. My brother in law passed away at the beginning of December which made all the holidays difficult as if it wasn't going to make daily life mmore complicated in the first place.
My BIL wasn't just that he was one of my great friends. I knew him before I knew my husband and he was over at my house everyday even when i was in school because he went to night school. he would be at my house watching my little brothers for my mom sometimes. He had a drug problem and he was doing so much better. he seemed actually really happy being clean. The happiest I have seen him in a long time if almost ever. He was over all the time and playing with my sons who he adored. Then he made that mistake which I feel is my fault and I will get into later. My 5 year old was totally heartbroken he will never see his uncle again they became so close at the end it was amazing. I hurt for my 1 year old who will never remember how much his uncle loved him. So it's been hard dealing with all this then everyone was sick and my husband has had such a hard time on and off with this and trying to deal with it on my own while putting on a strong front for my family. I have never had anyone this close to me pass before so it was hard. We are just now starting to get back into our daily routine and get things somewhat back to normal. That is until next month when it is his birthday and my husbands birthday. they are on the same day so I assume he is going to take it very hard on that day probably week. so, i just wanted to do a quick update while I was waiting for my son to finish his breakfast for school and I will definitely try to get back on more.