Sunday, September 5, 2010
Why Mom Wife Sarah???
Well I decided to blog and that was a relatively easy title. I mean its my life in a nut shell even if I don't understand it all the time. I'm a mom first a foremost, I'm a wife, and I'm me. Sarah. I suppose I do come last. Isn't that the way life is suppose to work? I'm not sure about that either. I wonder all the time about things. Then wonder if I'm crazy. I love my kids to death. 2 boys. 5 and 1. Love my husband (at least today) he's a great man. (at least today)Though sometimes even though I love the love from my kids and my family I wonder. What about me? Is that so totally selfish? I never would but i wonder what if I just left it all today? Took a few hundred disappeared and traveled the world? Went places I will never see? Experience things I never will. What if I had the life I dream I should be having instead of the one I have? The answer? It would be fun. It would be exhilarating. I'd miss my kids so damn much. they drive me crazy, but they drive me crazy in love. Sure there's always what ifs. there will always be I wonders. Not everyone is rich enough to have a vacation to another country every year. Then again not everyone is lucky enough to have a beautiful child call them mommy. not everyone is lucky enough to feel the miracle even if dreadfully painful that birth brings. I feel lucky. I feel lucky to wake up everyday and be a mom. To love my kids and have them sass me back. To have my husband there when I need him and for him to love me. Though I am a mother and a wife I am still me. I am still Sarah and I always will be, or try to be. I will try and go out on the the weekends with my friends because I need someone to talk to or feel like a person. I will lay in bed a watch tv on my son's nap time. I will go on my computer and Facebook with old friends and envy their no worry life. I will dance till i sweat. I will look at my boys and wonder how I did such a wonderful job with them so far an hope they will turn out the men they should be. I hope they have values and pride. I hope i can balance all these things throughout my entire life. Cause I'm not just one person. I'm 3. And that should put me in superhero category.